Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Quiet Serenity and Hope For a Renewal

I spent the past 5 weeks without social media, and it was glorious. Seriously, if I wouldn't be attacked by family, I would delete my facebook in a flash. 

Yes, in a flash.

Time away from a part of the world's hold on me was spent with family, and my main man. I've been doing some reflecting on how this Lent affected me, Particularly my relationship with our Creator. And it tears my heart to admit that I didn't take advantage of the beautiful chance that Lent gives us. a chance to renew our beliefs in Christ's death and resurrection. 

Christ died for us. 
Christ died for us.
Christ hung on a cross in pure agony for us.
for me.

As i write this, my stomach begins to churn, because I know these things, I have learned of God's love and forgiveness for us, yet i hold back. There was a time in my life where the mass, adoration, and confession were sacraments I yearned for. Encounters with God were a part of my nightly routine--I even remember being persistent about a morning prayer time. Where has this part of me gone? 

So much in my life has changed since spring semester of my senior year. Dreams have fallen, formed, and I've embarked on some adventures I never could have imagined. I know that I am blessed, Well at least my head knows it. Do you ever feel like your heart is absent from parts of your life? In my faith forming, I remember a teacher telling me that believing with your heart, wholly, is when you will find the deepest of faiths,  saying that is so true that it pierces me. To know that my heart is distracted and different than it was when I stood bursting as I praised our Lord, who revealed indescribable mysteries to this girl I have forgotten how to be.

My relationships have and always will be the focus of my life, a truth that I feel is etched upon me. Christ and his Church were once the rock upon which I stood in times of despair and triumph. I don't know what changes I need to renew my fire, but I do know that God is with me every step of the way. And readers, whoever you may be, I could not be more humbled to be carried by the One who formed me, and sent his Son to die for me, that I might live.

Crown of Thorns by Danielle Rose--A prayer I ache for

No comments:

Post a Comment