Saturday, May 11, 2013

Learning To Love Yourself

Another month hiatus, and I'm back, hopefully for good. I love writing on here, and sharing bits of my days, so a bi-weekly sit-down-and-post commitment will begin as my summer takes off. 

The past month has been busy, busy, busy, and it has taken a strain on my energy and spirit. But I am finished with school this Thursday, and a few weeks off before I (crossing my fingers) start a new job will do me good. 

There's a blurb of pics below, weather's been nutso here in Missouri--we all *loved* it. But now it's sunny and spring outside, and that's something that warms me and fills me with excitement for the months to come. 

I can't believe that my semester is over, and that I've been living downtown for 4 months. Times flies with each month, each year. And when they pass by, so swiftly, I worry that I'm not soaking up all that they offer. That I spend too much of my time worrying about school and relationships and balance. Goodness, it's so difficult to make everyone happy. Actually, it's sincerely impossible. and I need to listen to that. Trying to appease everyone is tearing me apart on the inside. I definitely cannot live without caring for others, it's in my soul to heal and comfort the hurting and those I love. Constantly stretching myself to cover everyone's needs is unhealthy and leaves me hating myself and my actions.

We are not called to that. 

God wants us to love one another as He loves us; unconditionally and selflessly. When I look at those two words I hear "Ok Katie, that means stop being selfish and love all people, without restrictions." 

But that's not God's voice. 

That's a part of me that is trying its hardest to break me, to twist the kind and considerate person that I've always been into a broken miserable young woman. 

I refuse to succumb to that. 

God calls me to care for others, this I know to be true. He also calls me to love myself. I cannot turn my back on my soul and my relationship with myself, lest I fall apart. I have learned that you can't love others selflessly until you love yourself wholly. and that's hard to do. Look at this world and all that it tries to brainwash us with, and try not to feel bad about yourself. try not to think that you will never be worth it. It's hard work. It probably always will be. but gosh, I have to try. We all do. Or else what good will Christ's sacrifice have done? He died for all sins--including those of self-disdain and hatred. We must and we deserve to love ourselves. Look to the Father's love of us--we breathe and partake in some of the most beautiful acts on this Earth each day--and let Him reflect it in you. When this happens, when we open our minds and hearts to the possibilities of God's endless love, we can love every piece of ourselves. 

Because we are worth it.

Foggy Kansas City morning

Yep. It snowed. On May 2nd. 

Little bit of an adventure with my stud to the good ole' MO River

Dreary weather calls for homemade applesauce (recipe found here)

Loose park day--see what I mean by crazy weather??

Roommate Kimberly and the Liberty Memorial
Oh, Kansas City you stun me

Stayin' young with spins in the spotlight

Ever learning, 

"Then you will delight yourself in the Almighty, and lift up your face to God."
Job 22: 26

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