Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Renewal and Return

Extremely long time, no see! I haven't written in almost a year and a half, and it's been one full of changes and lessons that I'm still learning.

My first year of nursing school was unbelievable. I have met some wonderful people, as professors, classmates, and patients. I was stretched at times to my breaking point, or at least what I thought so. But then, with the grace of God and the support of loved ones I made it through terrifying check offs, and our first semester of clinicals.

After the holidays, school went by anxiously fast, and our experience in the hospital put us right in the middle of providing care to the severely ill and in some cases, lonely. Each day spent with our patients, I began with a prayer to be more excited than afraid of what the day may hold, and the grace to provide competent and quality care to the lives I encountered. Exams were trying, and the study sessions got longer and closer together. Very rarely was anxiety not known, and once again we neared the end of the semester. When finals ended, it seemed unreal that summer was here, but man did we take it by the horns.

At the beginning of the summer I began a job at the children's hospital nearby, and have been blown away by the way the Lord provides for us because of it. There have been some rough nights where I've felt inadequate to help, yet there have also been children who have drastically improved by the end of our shift. I had always dreamed of working with children in nursing, but didn't want to say that it was where I was headed since I lacked experience in any kind of nursing, let alone pediatrics. When the time came to start this job, I was nervous, but once again I prayed before each shift to be more excited than I was afraid. Nearly nine months later and I couldn't imagine working anywhere else. These children and their families are who I yearn to help, to give my time to from seven at night until seven in the morning. I dream of working here when I graduate, which I struggle with giving over to God's more perfect will, whatever it may hold.

There have been many days in the past year spent agonizing over which path I am on, and which God is calling me to. Honestly, my will has taken precedence over where God is pointing me more than a few times, and I have felt the nasty sting of pride that followed. This has led to nights of fear, and a deep desire for renewal of my spirit.

I have a fierce belief in the power of optimism, peace in what the present holds for us, and of course, God's will in our lives. 

I eagerly await the promise of spring upcoming in the midwest, as yet another snow storm heads our way. Hoping to stay warm and focused until break comes our way--sneaking up before we know it! 


-P.S. I'm hoping to be more consistent journaling here, especially as my last year of schooling approaches. I'll also be making some updates here and there on this little space, so be on the lookout for that as well! So thrilled for what 2015 may hold!

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